Dave Birch’s ‘Decline and Fall Guy’: Chapter 5 & 6

Featuring a new chapter each day, Consult Hyperion's David Birch takes you on a wild adventure through espionage, contactless payments and a man on the brink.

If you've missed the fourth chapter, go back and read it now!

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Chapter 5: Declinegate.

My mind was reeling. How could the world of payments be getting so mixed up? Contactless terminals that don’t accept contactless payments! Valid watches being declined! Being asked for a PIN on a signature card! Asking customers to swipe a phone! Who is pulling the strings? It was time to go the papers and get the story out. I had to find a rag to tell my tale. I grabbed the phone book and started with the “As”. I pretty soon found “American Banker”. They sounded like the kind of guys who would go nuts for the inside dope on a front page story like this. I dropped a note to one of their newshawks and arranged a meet at an out-of-the-way hash house. I waited incognito.

So I tell the guy. I’m no stool pigeon, or indeed any other kind of pigeon. Listen, I tell him, I’m behind the eight ball on this one. I ain’t here to bump gums. Someone out there wants me to break out the benjamins, see, and I ain’t gonna do it. They’re clever, that’s for sure. They’re trying to make it look like incompetence, bad planning and accidents. But it’s a conspiracy and I know it. I ain’t stringing you. This is on the square. Not a flimflam. It’s bigger than that, see. I tell the guy. Put two and two together. So much money spent – but nuttin’ works right. There’s a high pillow in the shadows and he’s your meat.

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Chapter 6: Snapped by the Paps.

He was listening. He was listening all right. We arranged a meet for the next day, where I could spill the beans good and proper. I told him about the inexplicable design, the mysterious cab, the puzzling terminal, the incomprehensible messages. I told to look for the money. I told him that coincidences are stories for sheeple. I told him that he didn’t have to dig: the facts are staring him in the face.

But we were seen. Damn it, we were seen. Out of the corner of my I saw the guy in beige overcoat snap us and run. That was it. Game over. I had to leave town.

Get the story out, I tell him. I gotta blow. Goodbye Big Apple.

We hope you enjoyed David's story! You can see other articles from Dave Birch in our archive.

Chapter 1: It's Terminal

Chapter 2: Mean Streets

Chapter 3: Black Beans

Chapter 4: Best and Worst

David Birch will be speaking at this year's Total Payments Europe – which is part of Europe's Customer Festival – so download the brochure to make sure you don't miss out this September.

This guest post was written by Consult Hyperion's David Birch, this is an adapted version of a post that has previously appeared at Chyp.com's blog.

[Image: DRivers@WorldLaw - Flickr] [Image: Todd Huffman - Flickr]

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